Chapter I: Alien Introductions
Bob Robert Robertson stepped out of the back door to put the garbage out. A shimmer on the brick wall made him stop mid step. Turning to get a closer look, a thought burst into his brain.
I won’t hurt you.Duh. Of course I won’t hurt me. What a stupid thought. Bob turned away from the shimmer and dumped the collection of dirty diapers and kitchen waste into the big outside bin. “Mom, it’s done,” he yelled. Quietly he spoke again, “I’m going to Eric’s house, OK?” Then he ran. He wasn’t giving her any time to say no.
It’s not that important.
Bob stopped. “Yes it is,” he said out loud. “What are you talking about?”
“Bob, who are you talking to?” It was Liza, the girl from next door. She thought she was his friend or something. He started running again for an answer. “Where are you going? Eric’s out of town, remember?”
Dumb girl. How come she was always spying on him? He turned around started walking home. Liza watched him from her porch. “Where are you going now?”
Wasn’t it obvious? Another question he didn’t care to answer.
“Come see my Bonsai jasmine. It’s blossoming.”
Jasmine? Now that’s important.
“Jasmine’s not important,” Bob shouted, but only half to Liza. What is going on? He pelted home. Reaching for the screen door, his eye caught the shimmer again. It had moved. “Weird,” Bob said, and then he slipped inside.
I didn’t see anything weird.
“Yes I did,” Bob mumbled. Where are these thoughts coming from?
“Forgot Eric’s out of town, didn’t you?” Mom interrupted Bob’s wories. “He’ll be back before you know it. You could see what Liza’s up to.”
“Liza’s a girl,” Bob answered as if that decided the matter.
“I’m a girl. What does that have to do with it?”
And she has jasmine.
“I don’t care if she has jasmine or not!” Bob shouted.
“What are you yelling about?" aksed mom. "I didn’t say anything about jasmine. I’m just saying that I’m a girl, and I’m dang cool, so you better watch what you say about girls.”
“Oh mom, you’re not a girl," Bobn grinned. "Liza’s weird. She has these little trees that she’s always talking about. That’s boring.”
Jasmine!
“Besides,” Bob ignored the interruption, “I feel weird. I’m gonna go read.”
“Ok. But Liza’s not that bad, and you’ve got the whole summer ahead of you without Eric. Bonsai trees are not normal plants Bob. They’re very beautiful, and extremely valuable.”
And I could get some jasmine.“Ok, ok. Leave me alone about Liza, ok? I just don’t like her.” Bob slumped down the hall to his room and began rifling the bookshelf. What he needed was an alien killing, planet saving comic book -- something to take his mind off Eric, Liza, and this jasmine weirdness.
A few minutes later, Bob climbed on a chair to reach the box that held his comics. Jumping as high as he dared, he tap-tapped the box toward him off the shelf. Almost there . . . just one more . . . the box was ready to drop perfectly into his hands when Bob noticed the shimmer on the wall and hit the box too hard. His feet missed the chair, but his rear caught the edge of the seat and tipped it forward. Slam! His nose was crushed against the spine of Lewis's
The Voyage of the Dawn Treader on a lower shelf. It started to bleed all over the rug. Picoseconds later, ten years of favorite comics hit him on top of the head.
I didn’t mean to scare you.Shaking his head in pain and frustration, Bob plugged his bleeding nostril and eyed the shimmer. It was moving toward him. Yanking himself up, he stumbled to the opposite wall. “What are you!?” He never took his eyes off the shimmer. “What are you doing to my brain!?”
I’m communicating with you. The shimmer advanced.
“Stop! Don't come any closer!" Bob was panting, trying not to freak out. He shot a question at the shimmer. "Why don’t you talk like a normal person?”
I’m not a person. I’m an alien. The shimmer was close enough to touch him.
Bob’s head stopped pounding. Blood ran from his nose unchecked. “You’re an alien? No way. This is some kind of joke." Eric, is that you?” But he knew the shimmer was not a joke. No joke could get inside his head. This had to be real. How awesome can it get!
Who’s Eric?“My friend.” Bob remembered the blood running over his lips and down his chin. “Be right back.”
Wait! Where are you going?“I’ll be back. I just need a Kleenex.”
Don’t tell anyone. If you do, I’ll disappear.Bob's mom interrupted their dialogue for a second. "Bob, are you Ok? It sounded like something fell." The sound of her footsteps in the hall put him in a panic.
"Yeah, I'm Ok! My comics fell. Don't worry, I'll pick them up."
"All right, honey. I'm going for a walk with Beth. Be back in a half hour. Are you sure you don't need anything?"
"Yeah, I'm good mom. Bye." He grinned at the shimmer. "Don't worry, I won't tell. No one would believe this anyway. Hang on a sec, I’m getting blood all over my shirt.”
In a few moments Bob returned with a wad of Kleenex shoved up his left nostril and carrying a roll of Charmin’ two ply. The shimmer was still there. Bob held up the toilet paper. “In case it doesn’t stop,” he explained, sure that the creature would be wondering. Then he voiced some of the million questions that occurred to him on his trip to the bathroom. “Why did you come here? What’s your name anyway? What’s it like where you came from? Can I go? Who-"
My name is Wgrcckkyptptgs.
This halted Bob. “Huh? Waggerchuckypotputgoose? What kind of a name is that? That will definitely not work on earth. I’m calling you Chuck. Are you a boy or a girl?”
Boy.
“How old are you?”
Ten.“Cool, me too. Are you guys on summer vacation? We are.”
No.
“Then why aren’t you at school?”
I am at school.“Come on, this is my bedroom. What are you talking about?”
You wouldn’t understand.
“Yes I would. I’m the smartest one in my class. Everyone says so.”
Someone on your planet had an idea called the theory of relativity. Do you know it?
“No, what is it?”
T
ime slows for someone traveling at high speeds. He was right. When you travel at the speed of light, time stops. I am at school, and I am in your room, and I am in between. All is present. Do you understand?
“No, but it sounds cool. How do you know about it?”
My teacher told me. I don’t get it either, but my dad told me not to worry about it and just do the project. He said it would be fun.
“What project?”
Homework. Travel in time and space and visit another planet in the past. I’m supposed to make a friend and write a report.
“I hate reports. I had to write one on porcupines. How did you pick me?”
I didn’t. My teacher chose figures important in cosmic history for us to write about. I was assigned your time and space. Will you help me? I have to turn my report in tomorrow.
“Sure.” Bob ran both hands through his hair. He always did this when he was thinking. “Wait a second." He pulled his hair so that it stood on end. "If you’re everywhere in time and space, isn’t your report already done?”
It is for me, but not for you.
“Weird," Bob pulled the Kleenex out of his nose to see if it had stopped bleeding. "Nope," he said, and he shoved it back in. "Want to play a game? I have Spiderman Monopoly and chess. Oh, and this really cool one called Goblet. Eric gave it to me. He's really good at it.”
